Couples Coaching
Transform conflict, improve communication and strengthen harmony, intimacy and mutual support
Are misunderstandings and conflicts causing hurt, disconnection and instability in your relationship?
Would you like to transform the communication patterns that hold you back from a more harmonious, intimate and supportive relationship?
What’s your communication style?
Couples often consist of a “hot” and “cold” communicator
Fiery Communicators
The emotional intensity with which they often communicate is driven by a deep desire to be understood. When their partners take this personally and get defensive they feel alone and disconnected.
They try to communicate with less intensity and blame but no matter how much they try there are moments they are unable to. They wish they could feel their partner's understanding, warmth and closeness in these moments.
They often feel guilty after moments of emotional intensity when they see how this affected their partner. Post conflict they seek connection and reassurance but their partner often needs space which triggers further pain.
Cool Communicators
They find emotional intensity unsettling. Although they seem calm on the outside, on the inside they are hurt by the judgements and are overwhelmed by a sense that things are suddenly falling apart.
They wish for more harmony, stability and respect. They want their partner to be happy but what they do never seems to be enough. They often feel sad that they were unable to comfort their partner but also resentful that it seems like their needs don't matter.
They don't feel fully seen or appreciated by their partner. Post-conflict, they need time to regather themselves and fear further disconnection and conflict if they are unable to clearly express what they feel, which is not easy for them.
Couples Coaching
My Approach
I work with each partner individually to support them to clearly identify the underlying needs behind parts of them that are feeling misunderstood and alone.
I then bring them together and support these parts to be fully heard. When they misinterpret each other I intervene to help them understand what is actually being expressed.
This mutual understanding provides a deeper foundation of connection, intimacy and trust from which they can grow out of conflict and experience a more stable harmony.
In addition to shifting the underlying causes of the conflict, this process trains their capacity to communicate, co-regulate and support each other when future challenges arise.
Coaching Format
I offer a couples coaching program that consists of eight sessions over a period of two months.
Each partner will have two individual 60min calls. This is followed by four 90min calls with both partners.
If you are interested in the possibility of couples coaching you can book a free discovery call with your partner to explore your situation, find out more about my coaching work and see if we are a good fit to work together.
What my clients say
KIC COATES
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