When we do meditations to make contact with the vulnerable child part of us it’s very common that other parts of us will interrupt us saying things like
“I’ll get stuck in this emotion, it will leave me destroyed, I won’t be able to function”
“I should be over this by now / self-indulgent”
“Ive already dealt with this / I already know this part”
“This won’t get me anywhere, no point feeling this again”
Even though you know it makes sense to feel something you don't / numbness
These parts protect us from feeling the pain that vulnerable child still carries. It’s important to respect how our system limits our capacity to feel this and at the same time gradually stretch into feeling more.
I created a gatekeeper meditation that helps you connect to that part of you so it gives you a little more trust and space to contact the vulnerable child.
You can do this before the inner child meditation, to prepare for it, or after it - if you notice a part that blocks you.
Connecting to your vulnerable child part /exile
Practices on this page
Gatekeeper Meditation - 15mins
Vulnerable Child Meditation (deeper) - 15mins
Vulnerable Child Meditation (short) - 10mins
Journalling Exercise
Gatekeeper / Protector
If you are doing this meditation as a preparation for the inner child meditation then imagine beginning to feel that vulnerable child experience.
What is your primary part that has concerns, resists or just doesn't see the point?
Common concerns and resistance are…
“I’ll get stuck in this emotion, it will leave me destroyed, I won’t be able to function”
“Should be over this by now / self-indulgent”
Even though you know it makes sense to feel something you don't / numbness
“Ive already dealt with this /I already know this part”
“This won’t get me anywhere, no point feeling this again”
If you’re doing this meditation because you did the vulnerable child meditation and you got interrupted by a protective part then remember the concern it had about feeling that vulnerable child and focus on that during the meditation.
Gatekeeper / Protector Meditation
You can also refer to the guide to how to make these meditations more effective at the bottom of this page.
Gatekeeper Journaling prompts
Write down any reflections you have about that experience that seem important. If you want you can use these questions
What kinds of things does it say
Where did you feel this protector in your body? What did it feel like, any shape, size, texture, temperature?
What did you sense about what this part is trying to do for you? How is it trying to help?
What did you sense it's afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job?
How old is it?
What was happening around that age?
How do you feel toward this protector now, having spent time with it?
Where did you feel this protector in your body? What did it feel like, any shape, size, texture, temperature?
Was there anything that surprised you?
Vulnerable Part / Exile / Inner Child Meditation
This meditation will help you get to know and find some warmth towards that young part of us that carries the vulnerable experience .
For this exercise you will need to remember
The protector you worked on in the last session
The age it first started protecting you
What was happening back then that meant you needed protecting
You can also refer to the make these meditation more effective guide at the bottom of this page
We will use “the other child” technique. This means we will explore what happened to you through the eyes of another child you know first before connecting to your own experience.
Remember the age your protector first started protecting you. Think of a child you know, roughly this age (if you have kids, don't choose them) If you can't think of a child either remember a childhood friend or just: “Imagine a child that age.”
“Got someone? Hold them in mind.”
Journaling prompts
Write down any reflections you have about that experience that seem important. If you want you can use these questions
What struck you or most stood out for you about this experience?
When you turned from the other child towards your own inner child. What did you feel toward your own inner child?
What changed in your body during this process?
What did your inner child want you to know, and what did they ask for in the next 7 days?
Guide to making your meditations effective
Approach this part of you with genuine curiosity.
This works much better if you treat it like a person you're trying to understand. It can tell the difference between curiosity and judgement. You don't need to like the habit. You just need to be willing to hear what it has to say.
Ask the questions and listen — don't analyse.
I'll guide you to ask questions to the part of you that drives this old habit. Just ask internally and notice what comes back. Think of it like dropping a pebble into still water and watching the ripples. You might get a word, an image, a feeling, a sensation — or nothing at all.
If nothing comes, stay with the sensation in your body until the next question.
I'll sometimes offer the same question twice in different words. If neither version lands, let it go.
You don't need to follow the whole meditation.
Wherever you get to is enough. You're building a relationship with this part of you, it doesn't all need to happen in one sitting.
If emotions come up, let them.
Tears, sadness, grief, anger, these are a normal part of the process and often a sign that something meaningful is being reached. If at any point it feels like too much, open your eyes, feel your feet on the floor, and take a few breaths before deciding whether to continue or stop.